Funny Apple Conversation

March 15, 2008

So my Ipod touch isn’t working as it used to- the internet is malfunctioning, so what I do in my time of grave need? I speak with Apple, live chat support is what I am talking about. Here it goes, the funniest chat with an online representative I have ever had….

• You are chatting with Diane B, an Apple Expert

• Hi, my name is Diane B. Welcome to Apple!
• Diane B: Good evening.
• Diane B: Would you like help with your shopping?
• You: um
• You: something else
• You: kind of
• You: i have an ipod touch
• You: and
• You: my internet worked fine on it and everything
• You: but recently
• You: the internet doesnt work on it
• You: i tried it at my house
• You: and at different locations with wifi
• You: and it doesnt work anymore
• You: youtube and the itunes store doesnt work anymore
• You: i have tried basically everything in my pursuit of happiness including, but not limited to, restoring, upgrading to 1.1.4, and resetting my settings
• You: what do i do?!
• Diane B: Click here for Touch support
• Diane B: If the support pages do not help, you will need to call tech support at 800-275-2273.
• Diane B: Do you have applecare?
• You: applecare?
• You: wats that
• Diane B: It extends your one year warranty to 2 years and provides unlimited tech support for those 2 years.
• You: um no i just have 1 year
• Diane B: So you can make unlimited calls to tech support for situations like this.
• Diane B: I highly suggest that you purchase the applecare protection plan.
• You: well your suggestions are moot to my options
• Diane B: If you need tech support assistance, it will be free for each call during the warranty time period.
• You: just help me with this
• You: i dont wanna go through this bullshit
• You: give me my internet or my money back
• Diane B: This chat is for assisting customers with their online purchases.
• You: well connect me to tech crap
• Diane B: That is why I suggested applecare.
• You: well connect me to it nigga!~
• Diane B: 800-275-2273.
• Diane B: Their hours are 9am to 9pm est.
• You: can u help me out
• You: in the call
• Diane B: Not when you talk like that.
• You: i am sorry
• You: please help me
• You: its just that i m frustrated
• You: its been like this for a week
• You: and i need my internet
• Diane B: I understand your frustration.
• You: its my life
• Diane B: But you need to review the support pages or call tech support.
• You: i dont wanna read endless pages
• You: i want quick fast easy support
• Diane B: I understand.
• You: u kno wat i mean
• You: every kid in this world wants to go on myspace
• Diane B: Yes, I do.
• You: and my dream is to go on forbes to be updated with the latest info
• You: and its not possible if my internet aint with me
• You: do u kno wat im talking about
• You: its like i m the bully
• Diane B: Yes, I do.
• You: i m glad u feel my pain
• You: so how shall we approach this matter
• Diane B: You need to call tech support.
• You: ok ok lemme get to it
• You: hold on
• Diane B: Since I have not heard from you for some time, this chat will now end. If you require more help, please chat with us again.

Good times….

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Posted in Believe it or NOT, Stories